Making Life Choices

Taking Directions

I am stubborn. I am also slow to change direction if I feel that I have the right answer. A numerology report showed me that I usually try to justify my current, usually uncomfortable life situation, so that I can get my prejudices to 'fit' the facts.

I was in Delhi late in 2009 and I was beginning to wish that I was neither in Delhi or in India. I was finding the poverty, pollution and the general wear and tear of everyday life degrading to my spirit. I wanted a sunnier, more fun filled life somewhere else and Bangkok would do just fine.

In the September, I had met a young lady, View, in Bangkok. My clairvoyant work had shown her coming into my life, introduced by someone else first. 'A lady who looked Chinese but was not' came through in the message and that was absolutely correct. Jenny was Thai but performed in cabaret lip syncing Chinese in Thai shows that travelled eastern Asia. Jenny was View's best friend!

Bangkok would be the next stop in my nomadic life.

2009 turned into 2010 and the consultancy work was proceeding according to plan but I was unhappy, however, I also needed the money. I leased an apartment in Bangkok and installed View in it. Life was beginning to change and all appeared normal and stable.

More or less imprisoned in my hotel during that January and February, I started to read books from the hotel library.

The only one sitting on the shelf one day when I went in to grab some reading material was a copy of Paolo Coelho's book the Fifth Mountain.

If you are unfamiliar with the storyline, it is based on the story of Elijah from the Hebrew Bible and may be considered religious despite a strong focus on the theme of rebellion against God.

Coelho explores the manner in which the prophetic questioning of authority, rebellion and liberation, and 'thinking for oneself' are important in one's relationship with God and one's life work.

At the same time, the novel is a powerful metaphor of human self-confidence and strong desire for self-fulfilment by helping other humans. The protagonist finds ultimately the strength to overcome all misfortunes in himself - in his deeply human desire to help others and be creative.

In the book, Elijah is exiled from Judea and is forced to live in Akbar and it is during his time there that he witnesses a war and through his period of self reflection, he finds his spiritual pathway.

In March 2010, my visa was not renewed despite strong endorsement from my clients and I was forced to leave India. I was not expecting this development in my life. I was totally unprepared as I packed my belongings and made my way to Bangkok.

On the face of it, I now had what I wanted. I was where I wanted to be but, little did I know, I was just starting my 'exile', my test. I do know that I landed in Bangkok with a dreadful fear in my soul. There was something coming and I felt a sense of dread even though life was totally within my control to shape and live.

I immediately threw myself into getting my new life sorted out but then the near civil war started between the red shirts and the Thai government. Life was in suspension for 4 months as the situation was resolved. Fear was everywhere and not just within me. Business came to a halt.

Twelve months on, I am reflecting on the last year when nothing has gone according to plan. All my savings, personal possessions have gone and, in recent weeks, I have only been sustained by the generosity of friends. All that I have tried to generate from my past commercial experience has come to nothing.

In recent days, I have been very introspective.

I have considered every aspect of my life and know that it has changed irrevocably.

What I do know is that I am not in charge of my destiny, that the 12 months now ending has been a time when I have been forced to change my views on everything that I have known and that the next stage of my life lies in a very different direction.

My lesson, like Elijah, has been to understand that spiritual completeness lies within me. My given name gives a clue as Christopher in Greek means carrier of the Christ light and as to my future direction, Luke was a healer and one of Christ's Apostles.

The answer has been within me all the time and that is where I must start looking.